Imperfectly Perfect

Imperfectly Perfect

My name is Jamie and I am a recovering perfectionist. This may sound funny and nonsensical to you but it’s serious. I, along with many other people, have struggled most of my life with the desire to be perfect. I wanted a perfect look, perfect hair, perfect personality, perfect grades, I wanted it all. There comes a point however, when we realise perfection is unattainable, and the mere thought of it is dangerous.

Perfectionism is linked to mental issues such as low self esteem, depression and anxiety, as well as physical issues such as anorexia, bulimia and self harm. The desire to be perfect becomes a target to reach, that gets further and further as mental and physical health suffer.

Having been through all of the above and having a particularly rough few months, I decided enough is enough. My beautiful friend and co-writer Katie sent me some books that I absolutely love, and I want to share them below. First and foremost my favourite one –

HOW TO BE AN IMPERFECTIONIST BY STEPHEN GUISE

“Imperfection isn’t bad, it’s freedom.” From the first pages of this book, I knew I was going to love it. Stephen Guise is very funny and charming, he tackles serious topics in a thoughtful yet lighthearted way that I absolutely love.  He talks in detail about fear of failure, something I still battle with to this day. The book brings to light symptoms of perfectionism, both obvious symptoms and ones you wouldn’t even think of. For example, I never considered my addiction to mind numbing tv was because watching TV is impossible to do wrong. He talks about “self handicapping” – having excuses on hand for if things go wrong, as a protective mechanism. He states “the road to excellence begins in impressively” and I have never related to a statement more. When I first started my job, there were a few things I found ridiculously hard to do.

I spent endless evenings practicing until I got to where I am now, being able to do these things with my eyes closed. This book showed me that imperfections are not something to be disappointed about, and that perfection is ultimately not worth it. I absolutely loved this book and would highly recommend you checking it out!

Get it here – https://fave.co/2BqvV9z

DARING GREATLY BY BRENE BROWN

daring greatly perfect review

“What we know matters but who we are matters more” This is a quote from the first few pages of the book, and at this point I knew I’d like this read. Truth be told with all that’s going on in my life right now I haven’t completely finished reading it yet but I feel like it still deserves to be shared. I very much related to the “never ____ enough” issue in this book. As someone who was a perfectionist with very low self esteem, this was all too familiar to me. I have never been good at mustering up the courage to be vulnerable, never wanted to be a fuss or have people worry about me. This book teaches us that vulnerability is not a bad thing, something I have long needed to hear.

The idea of fighting above anxiety and living wholeheartedly is an inspiring message and I really like this book. Brown also has two tedtalks online and if you want more of an insight into her teachings I highly recommend watching them, she is a very funny well spoken woman and I really enjoy her content.

Get it here – https://fave.co/30EjQGl

I still struggle with perfection and the concept but I am getting better at realising it is an unattainable goal. So if you gather anything from this post, it is that whatever your brain tells you, you are good enough. People love you and you deserve to love yourself. I hope this post encourages you to check out these books, and I sincerely hope they make a difference.

Lots of love,
Jamie xxx

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